Family Grit Club Rules
Who are you? And what are you doing here? You look familiar, but maybe I'd better make sure we understand each other. Since you’re here at the moment, I’m gonna take it that you want to be a member of Family Grit Club. If so, you've gotta know the rules, friend. Read them below, carefully, and be sure you can live with them, because once we let you in, the only way out is.… well, I guess you just walk out. But while you'r here, you play by the rules!
First, a story...
An old rabbi had personal business to attend to in a walled city that had a guard who held a very large spear. As he approached the entrance, the rabbi heard the guard demanding he stop. The rabbi was in a hurry, but he figured he'd better comply or he wouldn’t get to his appointment. After he stopped (which felt surprisingly pleasant to the rabbi), the guard said, “Who are you? And what are you doing here?" The guard's questions struck him quite deeply. “Who am I? And what am I doing here?” the Rabbi asked himself. After a moment, realizing his mind was drifting and he was becoming eager for his appointment, the Rabbi spoke. He told the guard he had an important meeting with the city mayor and needed to be on his way. Then he stopped himself again and asked the guard a question: “ How much are you paid to stand here all day and guard the city wall?” After the guard told him, the rabbi responded, "I’ll pay you twice that to come to my door each morning and demand that I answer those questions!” The guard wasn’t sure how to respond, but he let the rabbi through. The rabbi and the guard became friends for many years.
So here they are...
the rules of Family Grit Club
Everyone talks about Family Grit Club. We talk about who we are and what we are learning with our immediate family and our community. We talk earnestly, compassionately, pleasantly, angrily, inquisitively, and playfully. We are a growing community, so we talk about ourselves and share what we learn. Every day.
Family Grit Club members know their limitations. We work on the highly regarded and seldom practiced skill of recognizing when we don’t understand something – like how our brain works, how to prepare healthy food, or what we plan to do with this one incredible day. Since we know our limits, we aren’t afraid to ask for the help we need.
Family Grit Club members know their character strengths. We polish them daily and let them shine, so we become a little more of who we are each day. We know that who we are is pretty dang amazing, and thanks to positive psychology, we have scientific evidence for our goodness. We teach others how to learn about their character strengths through conversations, writing, story telling, and modeling the joy of flourishing as a high-quality human being.
Family Grit Club members keep a journal and write something worthwhile in it almost every day. Every day when we can. We write about our experiences, our character strengths and how we used them, and how this day made us maybe a little stronger, scared us, inspired us, or filled us with resolve.
Not so fast there, buddy. If everything in life was all cherries and flavored coffee, it wouldn’t be life at all, would it? Family Grit Club members aren’t glib about life’s challenges. We know harshness, hard work, sleepless nights, financial fears, feelings of isolation, and family health concerns. When faced with these “dragons" we stand up to them. Sometimes we run away for a while, but we find our character strengths again through the support of family and friends –as well as through our writing, learning, exercise and good healthy eating – and we put that “dragon" back where it belongs. Behind us.
Family Grit Club members recognize that we are remarkably good. We have amazing inborn character strengths (despite our flaws), and our large brains take a long time to mature because of this fact. It takes a long time to develop character strengths like kindness, empathy, gratitude, and the sense of being a servant leader. We know that this long developmental period, from birth to maturity, gives us the time we need to learn from others, to understand and develop our own stories, and to come to live lives that reflect our deepest sense of connection and meaning.
Family Grit Club members play. A lot. We know we are on our own “hero's journey," and that despite the rough patches in life –even the really rough ones – we can find ways to strengthen our resilience, flourish personally, and support each other. We know that being playful helps us find new resources for coping with stress and helps us meet new friends, teachers, and mentors.
Family Grit Club members take advantage of available resources and social support networks. Great examples include Special Olympics, United Cerebral Palsy, Autism Speaks, The UC Davis Mind Institute, The University of Wisconsin Center for the Investigation of Healthy Minds, VIA Challenge in Cincinnati, The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, The Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research. We make connections, offer to help, and we speak boldly on behalf of ourselves, our children, and our community.
Family Grit Club members learn about the brain. We study how movement and healthy food can impact our brain (and those of our children) positively or negatively. We write and tell stories to each other about our brains and the amazing ways we learn to flourish in our lives thanks to these amazing three-pound blobs of nerve tissue inside our cranium!
Family Grit Club members practice deep self compassion. We know that to live an authentic life is to live from our compassion, goodness, and empathy. We are social beings, so we deepen our self understanding through movement, good nutrition, social support, and maybe the most powerful learning tool we have – our personal story. We also listen to the stories of others. We know we all have good things to say, so we listen and we share.
Sound like the right club for you? Even sound a little dangerous? Mysterious? Irresistible? Like a congregation of strangely interesting vagabonds and adventurers? Maybe so, amigos and amigas!
Consider well your membership in such a community of the weird and wonderful. You may want to listen to a few of the Family Grit podcasts here on the web site. Or attend a workshop. Or complete the online training program before making your decision. One thing you won’t need to think much about: the cost. Family Grit Club membership is free! Here’s what’s included:
A weekly newsletter from Dr. Mike Saatkamp with practical wisdom that you can use to make your life and your family's life more engaging and meaningful. Articles will include learning about nutrition, movement, and brain science. Sign up here!
A weekly podcast, Family Grit podcast, that you can access here! Each week Dr. Mike will present a 30-40 minute talk on a topic of interest to our community of special needs parents. Dr. Mike will periodically have guests who will bring their expertise to us, and he will make new information understandable, practical, and immediately implementable. Family Grit is about actionable learning!
You will receive periodic updates on Family Grit: The Hero's Journey for Special Needs Parents workshops so when we are in your area you can attend and participate in the learning community. The workshops are great opportunities for learning, sharing, finding community support, giving community support, and empowering yourself with wisdom.
I bet you’re all excited now, aren’t you? So think through your membership carefully, for at least a few seconds before you sign up. It’s your choice. Or maybe…. maybe it’s too late! :-)
See you on your Hero's Journey!
Dr. Mike
Chiropractor and Special Needs Father