When you feel yourself falling... dive!
/When you feel yourself falling... dive!
- Joseph Campbell
I remember when I was about 5 years old and I wanted to learn how to skip. It looked pretty easy to me, so with a five year olds enthusiasm I went clumsily half-hopping, half stumbling down the road in Centerville Ohio, where my family lived when I was young. There was no sidewalk, and pretty soon I was feeling pretty good about my ability , so I started skipping up onto a few of our neighbors yards. I felt like I was flying when I built up speed, and at one point I clipped my foot on a tree root. I went airborne and I remember spinning out of control as gravity made it’s claim on my bones. As I was falling, I tried to figure out how to not get hurt. Of course, I didn’t have a lot of time to figure this out, since I was about to kiss the dirt! I reached to try and grab a part of the tree. This was an error. Unfortunately for me, I was able to grab a small protrusion where a branch had once been, called a knot. As a result, I whipped around the tree and scraped my arm ‘real good’, and hit my chest pretty hard on the tree. I landed hard on the ground anyway when I let go of the knot.
This was a good early lesson for me to reflect back on. I didn't understand it then, so I’m not presenting myself as someone who learned great lessons from the trees as a young boy! But as an adult, there’s fruit for me in the recollection. The fruit is that I can reflect on the experience and tell a story about it, and use the challenge it presented me with to help me figure out how to respond to difficult situations I put myself into or that life brings to me.
Let’s take a look at the quote above from Joseph Campbell. ‘ When you feel yourself falling …. dive!’
That’s not always a great idea. We can all respond to most of ‘our daily dose of suffering’ (as Dr. Fred Luskin call’s it) and the many stresses we face with resilience, and often cheerfulness. I don’t think Joseph is talking about that kind of falling. Joseph is talking about the BIG FALLS. The falls we can’t control, like the death of a loved one, or the long term care of a family member with a disability. The daily stresses and falls, even when they are very challenging can usually be dealt with. In fact, we have a lot of scientific data that shows that we actually do a lot better in life when we embrace stress and use it to make significant choices in our lives.
BIG FALLS are a different animal. When one of the big falls comes knocking at our door (and we all get those visits occasionally), we may not have the inner resources to deal with it. Sometimes, no matter how much character strength we have, the hunting dogs have our scent. When this happens, it’s time to DIVE!
Dive where? Towards what source of help? Here’s what Campbell meant - dive into your deep inner resources, further into your character than you’ve been before. IN the words of Myth and Legends, you go through the Wasteland you find yourself in, and towards the Holy Grail of a deeper, more authentic and resilient version of yourself.
When we are in a situation that calls for a DIVE, rather than the hard work of being an adult who faces challenges, a good thing to remember is that a quick fix is not likely. An intense period of suffering may be coming. This is not a punishment or a reflection of your worth as a human being. This is life, and life is difficult.
Diving when we know we are entering a situation we won’t be able to control is an important skill to have. It’s related to knowing our limitations, and getting the help we need.
Falling into a tree certainly doesn’t qualify as a situation requiring a dive into interior resources of character. It was a simple lesson for me as a boy - just land on the soft grass. But I think the metaphor can help us. In my attempt to avoid falling, I injured myself worse than if I would have just taken the dive.
In case you’re currently in a DIVE! situation, here’s a brief Native American story.
“A bit of advice
Given to a young Native American
At the time of his initiation:
As you go the way of life,
You will see a great chasm. Jump.
It is not as wide as you think.”
― Joseph Campbell
Here are a couple of self reflection questions for you.
When faced with extremely challenging situations, do you tend to struggle to hold on to how things are? Or do you tend to dive deep and look for new resources in yourself? hint - Neither answer is better, sometimes we ought to hold on, sometimes we’d be better off diving.
Think of a time you were faced with a challenge you were sure would overwhelm you. How did you respond?
Happy Diving!
Dr. Mike
Special Needs Dad, Chiropractor, Servant Leader